Don’t Use The P Word!

I’m not talking about racist slang or words for what dwells in men’s underpants, the P word in question here is politics.

Now, I’m not an activist, far from it; I’ve only ever been to one march and if I’m perfectly honest I left part way through to go to a pub. It’s not that I don’t have a political viewpoint, I do, quite a strong one, I just don’t usually have the energy or inclination to argue about it.

(FWIW I’d say I’m a left leaning liberal with some socialist ideology)

The other day I broke my ‘don’t use the P word’ rule and tweeted in a slightly less than complementary way about the Unintelligent Kill Immigration Party (you know the ones, they like real ale and dislike accurate figures), I *might* have even retweeted the suggestion that people book tickets to the public meetings and not go. And I *will* admit that I might have said that I, myself, have done this. I got a couple of negative tweets, blocked a couple of people and thought nothing else of it.

A couple days later I was reminded of my tweets. My book got 10 one star reviews within a minute or so of each other, all of them not verified purchases. Some of them were boggling. some of them just meant to upset, almost all of them badly written.

My favourites are this angry yet somehow poetic description of my chick lit as some sort of Marxist propaganda:

DO NOT BY (sic) THIS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR RESPECT FOR HUMANITY. Absolute disgrace to literature. The left wing propaganda is just a whole other plane of madness. A true leftist hates freedom.

and this one which, if it is an ironic mis-spelling, could be pure genius.

What tripe. Honestly couldn’t believe I paid money (um…you didn’t) for the intelligible (well, thank you.) ramblings of some socially and politically illiterate dolt. Don’t even bither (sic) (snigger)

And I was linked by a friend to an infamous internet forum that is the technological equivalent of the underneath of the bridge that the Billy Goats Gruff liked to clip clop over. I was being torn to pieces as leftie scum and there was a link to my book. Mystery solved.

So I had an idea. As I don’t really do the p word thing I thought that rather than a flaming war of words I do something good. Let’s show the trolls that they make no difference, go to Amazon (, buy my book and I’ll donate my next two weeks profits to charity.

I did wonder if I could find the ‘Eastern European Builders Who Want Your Jobs LGBT Division’ to really make their troll blood boil, but instead have decided on a charity that is very dear to me, the Albert Kennedy Trust who help displaced LGBT teenagers to find help and support.

So please, buy into my ‘left wing propaganda’, let’s show the trolls and make a bit of money for an awesome charity.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Use The P Word!

  1. Dear Nicola Sheehan,

    You sadly misunderstand the gravity of what your and your fellow leftists were advocating on Twitter, which is probably why are trying to play the victim here. A word you may have heard used by your fellow leftists, probably to mischaracterise Ukip, is ‘fascism’. I encourage you to look into this word, to see if you realise the irony of your position,

    Speaking of irony, one has to chuckle at the comical irony of you pointing out mistakes in Amazon reviews, given the abortion of a book they were on. One only has to read the first page to find a myriad of errors (for example, the name “The Young Lions” is uncapitalised, and there is a common theme — which presumably persists throughout — of not punctuating at the end of speech).

    You admit to not being to not being political, which perhaps excuses you know nothing of Ukip’s immigration policy (nothing to do with “killing” immigration, just limiting it to skilled workers we need), although I’d recommend you stop talking about a subject you are clearly ignorant on; can I suggest you also stop describing yourself as an “author”, given that most people would have been embarrassed to have your level of literacy in primary school?

    Another Ukip policy you seem to be unaware of is to raise the level at which people will need to start paying tax. From the contents of your previous blog, along with the fact you needed to get 20 of your friends to buy and review your otherwise unknown book to try and help drive sales (I hope Amazon investigate your clear manipulation of the review system, considering barely any of these accounts have ever reviewed anything else), I can only assume you would fall well below this threshold — perhaps you should be voting Ukip?

    Kind regards.

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